Why try to convince him….

I often get asked by women, how is it that a relationship that was going so well, with the man showing interest and even acting as if he was in love, could end abruptly without them ever realizing that something was wrong.

There are a thousand answers to this question. However this is not the purpose of my message today. I will not talk about the reasons why a man walks away.

I will instead discuss the biggest mistake that the woman does in this situation, which is: try to convince the man to stay in the relationship, if she has the opportunity to see him or talk to him, or even worse by sending him a long email.

This approach of trying to convince a man that the relationship has a great potential, that you are meant for each other, that you are the woman for him and that you are willing to make an effort to improve things between you (whereas you are not at all responsible for the situation) only makes matter worse. If he was debating whether to stay or leave, with this attitude, you will have convinced him that the best thing is for him to leave.

Today I would like to make you understand that it is NEVER necessary to convince a man to stay in a relationship. If he is with you it’s because he wants to. If he wants to leave, there are not many things that you can do or say to keep him (next time I will discuss what to do in such case).

You probably have read the following words of wisdom to women somewhere. A friend of mine recently post them on her Facebook status, and I thought that it would be a good thing, considering that it is a recurrent question that I get from women, to reiterate these simple undeniable truths:

  • If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
  • If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
  • Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
  • Allow your intuition (you know it when something is wrong) to save you from heartache.
  • Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
  • If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends.” A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
  • Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
  • Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
  • You cannot change a man’s behaviour. Change comes from within.
  • Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are…even if he has more education or is in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.   He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
  • A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

And finally, last but not least……

  • Make him miss you sometimes…when a man always know where you are, and you are always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

Ladies, I strongly encourage you to apply these recommendations as best as you can in your love life. It may seem difficult at first, but down the road you will only be happier.

If you find it challenging to apply these concepts in your life, or if you simply wish to discuss, I invite you to contact me for a free consultation. It will my pleasure to answer any questions you may have, to the best of my knowledge.

Until next time….

Ladies only

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