10 steps to manage hidden blockages

10 steps to manage hidden blockages

General

Unknown or hidden blockages in our life in general, and in our love life in particular, always have the same consequences.

Unfulfilled desires and serious frustrations

Until we are able to discover what they are, also to face and then start addressing them, chances are we will keep on getting failures after failures, disappointments after disappointments.

It does happen for some people who are into self-development that they realize that consistency in failures is not something “normal”. With their knowledge, they are sometimes capable to realize what has been keeping them from achieving their desires and to start the necessary work in order to solve whatever it is, on their own.

Even if it’s a lengthy process, when trying to figure it out alone, one can still obtain positive results if focused and determined.

Others have no clue that they might have hidden blockages and they would not know what to do, where and how to start. Therefore, they keep on doing the same things, making the same mistakes and obtaining the same negative results in areas of their lives where they need and want things to change and improve.

Failures and disappointments are put on our path to help us grow, and instead of being discouraged and hopeless with the situation, we should do our best to understand the lesson there is to learn which eventually can lead to rewards that far exceed our expectations.

However, when failures happen over and over, month after month, year after year, it should have been obvious for anyone going through these difficult moments that some hidden issues might be the cause and need to be addressed.

Without proper identification and effective resolution of this blockages, the person who keeps on getting negative results and sometimes painful experiences when trying to achieve a dream, besides being discouraged, can even fall into a deep state of despair.

Whereas, the outcome could have been way different, if the person had seek appropriate help through self-development work like reading books, watching videos and/or by simply seeing a professional.

Today I want to share with you 10 easy steps and key questions that can help you progress in your journey. It can be used in different areas of your life but since I am a love expert, I will focus on what I know best.

  1. Identify the aspect of your life in which you want to achieve something or see improvement but where you keep on getting frustrations. Like I was saying, in this case I will focus on love and pretend I was talking to a woman who has been through many heartbreaks.
  2. What are you doing repeatedly (example: always choosing the wrong partner)?
  3. What do these men have in common (example: they are not ready for a serious relationship)
  4. What usually attracts you to a man? Is it an attitude, a characteristic, his look, his life situation?
  5. Why? What is the “need” that you want this guy to fulfill in your life?
  6. If you reflect on your answers, is it really what you wish and what you need?
  7. What are the 20 most important characteristics that you are looking for in an ideal partner?
  8. When you think about this man, do you feel that you “deserve” to have such a great person in your life? What is your inner dialogue on the subject?
  9. Now that you’ve answered some important questions about your love life, take some time to write exactly how you would like it to be, as if the sky was the limit. Write as if you were writing a fairy tale, your fairy tale (one that makes sense in this actual world :)). It is essential to emphasize your feelings. How you would like your partner to treat you, how you would want to FEEL in this relationship. Write your story at the present tense.
  10. You don’t need to believe it at first. Simply read it out loud in the morning and once more at night before going to bed (for better results I suggest to my clients that they do it in front of the mirror). My “prescription” is that you do it for 40 days in a row. Simply do it and see miracles start to happen.

The key phrase “you do not need to believe it at first – you do not need to believe me”. Since you have nothing to lose dare yourself, take the bet and do it.

Success rate, if done properly is 95%.

How this exercise works is very simple and scientifically proven. Your subconscious mind listens to a totally new message. With time and consistency, it begins to believe and feel familiar with the message; it becomes more receptive to what it says, and as a result, relevant situations, circumstances and people will start appearing into your life in order for your dream to realize.

Your inner blockages get less and less. Some will persist, but they will not be “strong” enough to prevent your wish to happen.

This example is pertinent to one’s love life. The same process applies to any other area of your life.

What would be your motivation to try this? The simple desire to see a dream come true and to get out of the vicious circle of disappointments and failures.

What would be the reason NOT to try this? A defeatist attitude, a tendency to believe things don’t work, without even trying them first.

What does it require? Discipline, open attitude, strong will of a better life.

What is the percentage of people reading this who will actually try it and complete it? 2%

Make yourself the promise to be part of this small group of people. If you want to share your progress or discouragement with me, it will be my pleasure to help you.

How do I know it works? Because I have experienced it personally. Now it’s your turn.

How to Cope with Rejection

General

Feeling rejected? You’re not alone. Most of us experience this feeling at some point in life. It can strike at any time, whether we are single or in a relationship. Being single, the most common feeling of rejection comes from one of these situations:

  • We met someone whom we find interesting and would love to get to know better, but he/she does not reciprocate.
  • We were at an early stage of what we considered a “good” relationship and suddenly the other party either disappears or informs you that it would be best to end the relationship.

These situations may have severe impacts when they become repetitive scenarios over a short period. In a relationship that is going fairly well it is not uncommon for one of the partners to also experience feelings of rejection.

Feelings of rejection can create a sense of

insecurity and even anxiety.

This usually happens when the other partner is less present or shows less attention than usual, maybe because of:

  • Preoccupation with work or a personal project.
  • He/she is going through a phase of self inquiry, growth, development or something else that has nothing to do with the other person.How to cope with rejection

The partner who feels rejected makes it all about hir/herself and has a hard time dealing with the situation. In all cases, if one is not careful, and the situation lasts for too long, feeling rejected can lead to depression. Considering also that for some, the root comes from as far as their childhood. There are however ways to cope and heal from this sickening feeling (if it has not yet become a severe condition). The following are steps that I encourage my clients to follow and that I myself practice whenever I get into that “zone” of insecurity:

1. Acknowledge the feeling for what it is
“Feel” it and accept it. Do not try to dismiss it, pretend it does not exist or blame yourself thinking that you are being irrational. Cry if you want to and as much as you need to.

2. Clearly identify the reason why you feel the way you do 
After accepting your feelings, write down what you perceive are the reasons why this is happening. I feel rejected because….. put on paper every thought that comes to mind. Don’t judge your thoughts or impressions. Remember to say I feel and never he/she makes style me feel.

3. Come up with some “feel better” strategies
You know how you feel and why, now think of what you can do to feel better and to help you step out of the “victim state”.

a) Maybe you can spend more time with people you know appreciate you

b) Go to a Spa, take care of yourself and be pampered

c) Watch a comedy alone or with a friend

d) Read a self-development book (my favorite)

e) Plan your future positively (my second favorite) – what do you want to do, how would you like this situation to be in a few weeks/months from today? How do you want your ideal relationship to be like and how can you prepare for it.

f) If you are in a relationship with someone you know loves and appreciates you already, be understanding. Try to take some distance from your ego, which makes it about you, find an interesting  side project while he/she is busy. Be independent, you may also state your feelings but don’t nag. He/she will appreciate it and may return his/her attention to you sooner than you think.

But, no matter what you do, please always remember that:

  1. It is absolutely normal to feel the way you do; most of us go through the same at some point, and more importantly;
  2. Just like everything else in life, that also shall pass.