Modern Dating

A friend sent me this article written by Christopher Hudspeth in which he listed 18 ugly truths about modern dating that we have to deal with.

Based on my daily experience when working with my single clients and seeing what is also  going on in my daughters’ generation (they are 22 and 19 years old), I picked the 10 most common ugly attitudes in today’s dating world to share with you. I find it to be so sad that some people can actually act like this but more sad that other people accept these behaviours as normal despite the fact that they suffer to be treated like this and as a result that their self-esteem is badly affected.

They are afraid to change things and continue to accept them thinking that it is the way to be. Well the good news is my clients know better after a few sessions with me.

Here are the 10 most ugly truths about “modern dating” (I hope you do not allow yourself to be subject to any of these):

1. The person who cares less has all the power. Nobody wants to be the one who’s more interested.

2. Because we want to show how cavalier and blasé we can be to the other person, little psychological games like ‘Intentionally Take Hours Or Days To Text Back’ will happen. They aren’t fun.

3. A person being carefree because they have zero interest in you looks exactly like a person being carefree because they think you’re amazing & are making a conscious effort to play it cool. Good luck deciphering between the two.

4. Making phone calls is a dying art. Chances are, most of your relationship’s communication will happen via text, which is the most detached, impersonal form of interaction. Get familiar with those emoticon options.

5. Set plans are dead. People have options and up-to-the-minute updates on their friends (or other potential romantic interests) whereabouts thanks to texts & social media. If you aren’t the top priority, your invitation to spend time will be given a “Maybe” or “I’ll let you know” and the deciding factor(s) will be if that person has offers more fun/interesting than you on the table.

6.  “Let’s chill” & “Wanna hang out?” are vague phrases that likely mean “let’s hookup” — and while you probably hate receiving them, they’re the common way to invite someone to spend time these days, and appear to be here to stay.

7. The text message you sent went through. If they didn’t respond, it wasn’t because of malfunctioning phone carrier services.

8.  You aren’t likely to see much of someone’s genuine, unfiltered self until you’re in an actual relationship with him or her. Generally people are scared that sincerely putting themselves out there will result in finding out that they’re too available, too anxious, too nerdy, too nice, too safe, too boring, not funny enough, not pretty enough, not some other person enough to be embraced.

9. When dating, instead of expressing how they feel directly to you, a person is more likely to post a Facebook status or Instagram a Tumblr-esque photo of a sunset with a quote or song lyric of someone else’s words on it, and while it may not mention your name, it’s blatantly directed at you.

10. If you get dumped, it’s probably going to be pretty brutal. People can cut ties over the phone and avoid seeing the tears stream down your face or end things via text and avoid hearing the pain in your cracking voice and sniffling nose. Send a lengthy text and voilà, relationship over. The easy way out is far from the most considerate

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