10 steps to manage hidden blockages

10 steps to manage hidden blockages

General

Unknown or hidden blockages in our life in general, and in our love life in particular, always have the same consequences.

Unfulfilled desires and serious frustrations

Until we are able to discover what they are, also to face and then start addressing them, chances are we will keep on getting failures after failures, disappointments after disappointments.

It does happen for some people who are into self-development that they realize that consistency in failures is not something “normal”. With their knowledge, they are sometimes capable to realize what has been keeping them from achieving their desires and to start the necessary work in order to solve whatever it is, on their own.

Even if it’s a lengthy process, when trying to figure it out alone, one can still obtain positive results if focused and determined.

Others have no clue that they might have hidden blockages and they would not know what to do, where and how to start. Therefore, they keep on doing the same things, making the same mistakes and obtaining the same negative results in areas of their lives where they need and want things to change and improve.

Failures and disappointments are put on our path to help us grow, and instead of being discouraged and hopeless with the situation, we should do our best to understand the lesson there is to learn which eventually can lead to rewards that far exceed our expectations.

However, when failures happen over and over, month after month, year after year, it should have been obvious for anyone going through these difficult moments that some hidden issues might be the cause and need to be addressed.

Without proper identification and effective resolution of this blockages, the person who keeps on getting negative results and sometimes painful experiences when trying to achieve a dream, besides being discouraged, can even fall into a deep state of despair.

Whereas, the outcome could have been way different, if the person had seek appropriate help through self-development work like reading books, watching videos and/or by simply seeing a professional.

Today I want to share with you 10 easy steps and key questions that can help you progress in your journey. It can be used in different areas of your life but since I am a love expert, I will focus on what I know best.

  1. Identify the aspect of your life in which you want to achieve something or see improvement but where you keep on getting frustrations. Like I was saying, in this case I will focus on love and pretend I was talking to a woman who has been through many heartbreaks.
  2. What are you doing repeatedly (example: always choosing the wrong partner)?
  3. What do these men have in common (example: they are not ready for a serious relationship)
  4. What usually attracts you to a man? Is it an attitude, a characteristic, his look, his life situation?
  5. Why? What is the “need” that you want this guy to fulfill in your life?
  6. If you reflect on your answers, is it really what you wish and what you need?
  7. What are the 20 most important characteristics that you are looking for in an ideal partner?
  8. When you think about this man, do you feel that you “deserve” to have such a great person in your life? What is your inner dialogue on the subject?
  9. Now that you’ve answered some important questions about your love life, take some time to write exactly how you would like it to be, as if the sky was the limit. Write as if you were writing a fairy tale, your fairy tale (one that makes sense in this actual world :)). It is essential to emphasize your feelings. How you would like your partner to treat you, how you would want to FEEL in this relationship. Write your story at the present tense.
  10. You don’t need to believe it at first. Simply read it out loud in the morning and once more at night before going to bed (for better results I suggest to my clients that they do it in front of the mirror). My “prescription” is that you do it for 40 days in a row. Simply do it and see miracles start to happen.

The key phrase “you do not need to believe it at first – you do not need to believe me”. Since you have nothing to lose dare yourself, take the bet and do it.

Success rate, if done properly is 95%.

How this exercise works is very simple and scientifically proven. Your subconscious mind listens to a totally new message. With time and consistency, it begins to believe and feel familiar with the message; it becomes more receptive to what it says, and as a result, relevant situations, circumstances and people will start appearing into your life in order for your dream to realize.

Your inner blockages get less and less. Some will persist, but they will not be “strong” enough to prevent your wish to happen.

This example is pertinent to one’s love life. The same process applies to any other area of your life.

What would be your motivation to try this? The simple desire to see a dream come true and to get out of the vicious circle of disappointments and failures.

What would be the reason NOT to try this? A defeatist attitude, a tendency to believe things don’t work, without even trying them first.

What does it require? Discipline, open attitude, strong will of a better life.

What is the percentage of people reading this who will actually try it and complete it? 2%

Make yourself the promise to be part of this small group of people. If you want to share your progress or discouragement with me, it will be my pleasure to help you.

How do I know it works? Because I have experienced it personally. Now it’s your turn.

How to Cope with Rejection

General

Feeling rejected? You’re not alone. Most of us experience this feeling at some point in life. It can strike at any time, whether we are single or in a relationship. Being single, the most common feeling of rejection comes from one of these situations:

  • We met someone whom we find interesting and would love to get to know better, but he/she does not reciprocate.
  • We were at an early stage of what we considered a “good” relationship and suddenly the other party either disappears or informs you that it would be best to end the relationship.

These situations may have severe impacts when they become repetitive scenarios over a short period. In a relationship that is going fairly well it is not uncommon for one of the partners to also experience feelings of rejection.

Feelings of rejection can create a sense of

insecurity and even anxiety.

This usually happens when the other partner is less present or shows less attention than usual, maybe because of:

  • Preoccupation with work or a personal project.
  • He/she is going through a phase of self inquiry, growth, development or something else that has nothing to do with the other person.How to cope with rejection

The partner who feels rejected makes it all about hir/herself and has a hard time dealing with the situation. In all cases, if one is not careful, and the situation lasts for too long, feeling rejected can lead to depression. Considering also that for some, the root comes from as far as their childhood. There are however ways to cope and heal from this sickening feeling (if it has not yet become a severe condition). The following are steps that I encourage my clients to follow and that I myself practice whenever I get into that “zone” of insecurity:

1. Acknowledge the feeling for what it is
“Feel” it and accept it. Do not try to dismiss it, pretend it does not exist or blame yourself thinking that you are being irrational. Cry if you want to and as much as you need to.

2. Clearly identify the reason why you feel the way you do 
After accepting your feelings, write down what you perceive are the reasons why this is happening. I feel rejected because….. put on paper every thought that comes to mind. Don’t judge your thoughts or impressions. Remember to say I feel and never he/she makes style me feel.

3. Come up with some “feel better” strategies
You know how you feel and why, now think of what you can do to feel better and to help you step out of the “victim state”.

a) Maybe you can spend more time with people you know appreciate you

b) Go to a Spa, take care of yourself and be pampered

c) Watch a comedy alone or with a friend

d) Read a self-development book (my favorite)

e) Plan your future positively (my second favorite) – what do you want to do, how would you like this situation to be in a few weeks/months from today? How do you want your ideal relationship to be like and how can you prepare for it.

f) If you are in a relationship with someone you know loves and appreciates you already, be understanding. Try to take some distance from your ego, which makes it about you, find an interesting  side project while he/she is busy. Be independent, you may also state your feelings but don’t nag. He/she will appreciate it and may return his/her attention to you sooner than you think.

But, no matter what you do, please always remember that:

  1. It is absolutely normal to feel the way you do; most of us go through the same at some point, and more importantly;
  2. Just like everything else in life, that also shall pass.

Modern Dating

General

A friend sent me this article written by Christopher Hudspeth in which he listed 18 ugly truths about modern dating that we have to deal with.

Based on my daily experience when working with my single clients and seeing what is also  going on in my daughters’ generation (they are 22 and 19 years old), I picked the 10 most common ugly attitudes in today’s dating world to share with you. I find it to be so sad that some people can actually act like this but more sad that other people accept these behaviours as normal despite the fact that they suffer to be treated like this and as a result that their self-esteem is badly affected.

They are afraid to change things and continue to accept them thinking that it is the way to be. Well the good news is my clients know better after a few sessions with me.

Here are the 10 most ugly truths about “modern dating” (I hope you do not allow yourself to be subject to any of these):

1. The person who cares less has all the power. Nobody wants to be the one who’s more interested.

2. Because we want to show how cavalier and blasé we can be to the other person, little psychological games like ‘Intentionally Take Hours Or Days To Text Back’ will happen. They aren’t fun.

3. A person being carefree because they have zero interest in you looks exactly like a person being carefree because they think you’re amazing & are making a conscious effort to play it cool. Good luck deciphering between the two.

4. Making phone calls is a dying art. Chances are, most of your relationship’s communication will happen via text, which is the most detached, impersonal form of interaction. Get familiar with those emoticon options.

5. Set plans are dead. People have options and up-to-the-minute updates on their friends (or other potential romantic interests) whereabouts thanks to texts & social media. If you aren’t the top priority, your invitation to spend time will be given a “Maybe” or “I’ll let you know” and the deciding factor(s) will be if that person has offers more fun/interesting than you on the table.

6.  “Let’s chill” & “Wanna hang out?” are vague phrases that likely mean “let’s hookup” — and while you probably hate receiving them, they’re the common way to invite someone to spend time these days, and appear to be here to stay.

7. The text message you sent went through. If they didn’t respond, it wasn’t because of malfunctioning phone carrier services.

8.  You aren’t likely to see much of someone’s genuine, unfiltered self until you’re in an actual relationship with him or her. Generally people are scared that sincerely putting themselves out there will result in finding out that they’re too available, too anxious, too nerdy, too nice, too safe, too boring, not funny enough, not pretty enough, not some other person enough to be embraced.

9. When dating, instead of expressing how they feel directly to you, a person is more likely to post a Facebook status or Instagram a Tumblr-esque photo of a sunset with a quote or song lyric of someone else’s words on it, and while it may not mention your name, it’s blatantly directed at you.

10. If you get dumped, it’s probably going to be pretty brutal. People can cut ties over the phone and avoid seeing the tears stream down your face or end things via text and avoid hearing the pain in your cracking voice and sniffling nose. Send a lengthy text and voilà, relationship over. The easy way out is far from the most considerate

10 successful attitudes of single people

General

Singles whom have had the opportunity to do some self-development work to identify what they want in their life and the qualities that they are looking for in their significant other, also achieve self confidence and grow a sense of anticipation toward their future. They adopt the following winning attitudes, which invariably lead them to success and accomplishment of their dreams:

1-      I am happy to have goals in my life

2-      I live in the present moment

3-      I love, accept and trust myself

4-      When dating, I focus on connecting, not results; Everything will happen the way it is supposed to

5-      I am authentic, fully honest with myself and others, aligning my words, values and action

6-      I live my life with intentionality, making choices conscious of my goals and consequences

7-      I take risks, overcome my fears and stretch my comfort level to reach my goals

8-      I practice the law of abundance. I believe that all the opportunities and resources that I need will appear

9-      I take responsibility for my outcomes by taking initiative in my life and relationships

10-   What others judge about me is about them; I let go of what others think and do not take it personally.

Gratitude

General Uncategorized

Love is beautiful… but this feeling is even strongerGratitude-Beach

Today I will leave aside my dating and Relationship advice to talk about a feeling that is even more extraordinary and rewarding than love…. Gratitude

This feeling which is probably one of the most difficult to embrace in our daily life, is nonetheless the one that brings a complete sense of well-being, and is responsible for most miracles (whichever sense you want to give the word, spiritual or not it does not matter) and create the best positive turn of any situation.

Gratitude has inspired a lot people. When you do a quick research on the internet, the list of quotations on the subject is endless.

One of my favourite is a quote by the great lady Oprah Winfrey which reads as follows:

“I know for sure that appreciating whatever shows up for you in life changes your personal vibration. You radiate and generate more goodness for yourself when you’re aware of all you have and not focusing on your have-nots.” —  Oprah Winfrey

Have you noticed, Oprah starts by saying “I know”. She is talking from experience, as does anyone who, at any given moment of his existence, makes the conscious decision to be grateful for all good or less enjoyable moments that life brings.

Love is often considered as the ultimate feeling; however I say that before loving anyone, you have to start by being grateful for this person to be in your life.

Gratitude will make us even more in love, loving and loveable. The more we are grateful, the more we experience this peaceful, wise and true love, which gives us a feeling of well-being and, at the same occasion will attract positive people and circumstances to us.

Giving thanks to every circumstance that comes our way, paying more attention to all the good instead of the less desirable, smiling just for the fun of it, being grateful to feel our feet instead of focusing on the fact that they are actually freezing in the cold 🙂 (it works I try it often), feeling appreciative for good health instead of repeating how tired we are, getting ready for the warmer days to come instead of only focusing on this dreadful winter (easier said than done I admit)…. so many little steps and mental exercises to help us be more grateful, to appreciate life and change it for the better and consequently see our loved ones being happier around us.

I want to end this article with another great quotation by Dr. Robert Holden:

“The miracle of gratitude is that it shifts your perception to such an extent that it changes the world you see.” —  Dr. Robert Holden

I invite us to take the resolution to practice more gratitude in our daily activities, and to change our view on things in order to make our life more enjoyable and to attract positive vibrations and miracles toward us. The key to have something that you desire is to start by being grateful for what you already have.

To gratitude!